These four paintings were made while processing my experiences around pregnancy and childbirth, and the subsequent changes to my identity and body. The smallest work, Mother, was the last oil painting I made before giving birth. Painting this small death match scene, I put myself in the mind of the figure, attempting to conjure her bravery, as I marched forward towards an inevitable c-section and the delivery of my twins. In the three larger works, there is a tense, competitive, relationship between a background of irises and a foreground of Joshi wrestlers, but no expectation that the viewer choose which element of the painting to favor. It’s okay for a painting to be both beautiful and grizzly.

After having given birth, I am more intimately acquainted with pain and spectacle, electing to engage in violence, if you’re honest about how utterly disruptive pregnancy is. I see my strength in these wrestlers, just as I see myself in all of my figurative paintings. I see also my vulnerability in the irises and the fleeting beauty of my physical capabilities as a birthing parent.